Another Long Month

A little more sad news. My grandmother passed away this month. So my Wills grandparents are in heaven and I feel like a large part of my childhood is just gone, completely missing. Together they taught me so much and apart they taught me very different but equally wonderful things. I doubt I will ever meet someone so little but so strong like my granny. She was the short one in our family and she always teased us about being so tall. She would say "you lean down here and give me a good hug" but none of us grandchildren ever crossed her. I remember one time when I was about 10, I did not want to go to bed so I stalled with everything I had. Well, did she count to 3? NO, did she say my name in a warning tone? No, all she had to do was start to walk into the room and I knew I better get in that bed and be ready for my story and then it was time to sleep. That was the only time I ever tried to get my way with my granny.
She always had this amazing garden that produced the best tomatoes EVER! One summer I ate so many cherry tomatoes I broke out in hives. And for some reason I never minded getting up with the sun to go out and weed that huge country garden with her. It's from her that I found out how much fun it is to grow things and watch the beauty of nature around me.
It's strange how some of the littlest things will sneak up on me and make me remember some long forgotten tidbit about them.
They really were the best set of grandparents a child could have.

Country Living

We actually live about six miles outside of Augusta which puts us in the middle of nowhere. I'm not really sure I'm a country kind of person. There are bugs, HUGE ones, there are sounds, SCARY ones, and there are SMELLS!!! that I cannot deal with. I do not get along well with spiders and they are all over the house. BIG brown ones that move fast. Matt likes to joke that what I think of as big is gnat size, but even he has agreed that these spiders are escapees of some scientific lab that does experiments to enlarge ugly insects. One night we were watching a movie with the lights turned out and I was sitting in the recliner when I see this thing moving on the arm. Well, I scream and Matt jumps up and turns on the light and this spider as big as my fist is right next to me! I've never jumped that high or moved that fast but in this case I think I set a couple of records. My awesome friend gave me this really good bug spray to use and I really think it has helped. That and the colder weather maybe? But I don't care what it is as long as they leave me alone. Matt says that the bugs were there first but I contend that I'm here now so they need to leave.
Another thing I'm not doing to well with is the fact that we cannot get internet service out at the house without paying a huge cost for it. First the installation fee and then the monthly bill would just be absurdly high. I can't wait an entire month to check my email. I HATE it!!

A Year Long Month

I can't believe it's been a full month since I've written anything. I think this has been the longest month of my life. I'm trying to think of all of the things that have happened, but they are all so blurry that it's really hard to separate them. Well, here goes:
1.) My grandpa's funural, of course.
2.) That same week my sister got married.
3.) Our place to live in fell through and so my family asked me to take over the care of my grandparents house.
4.) We moved to Augusta to care for said house.
5.) And now the holidays are before us.

That's a pretty good breakdown of what's been going on. We had the funural on Tuesday and on Thursday my sister got married. I'll talk about that for just a moment. I cannot describe this guy without making myself just sound seriously harsh. I guess I will just say I will never really think of him as family because he certainly doesn't act that way, and leave it at that.
Next, we had an apt. all lined up but they couldn't work with us on the move-in date and when we were given our eviction notice the new place was not ready for us. We had 72 hours to leave and no where to go. So I talked with my family and they said it would really be a blessing to have us move out to Augusta and take care of the house for my granny. So I did it. I packed up our house in two hours and my mom got me a moving company and I moved out to Augusta. All while Matt was in Oklahoma doing his training. I think I cried myself sick that day. Now I drive an hour to work and have the added responsibility of cleaning a house that has been sitting empty for six months. I used my very first vacation ever to clean. I've seen more dust than I ever want to again. And that brings me up to date and to the holidays. Should be fun.

Sad Week

So now for some sad news. My grandpa passed away on Sunday morning after a (relatively) short battle with cancer. There at the end he was in a lot of pain and it was very difficult to go and see him. We had some time with him though and new it was coming so this was not completely a surprise. I got to tell him I loved him and goodbye which was more than some of my cousins from AZ got. The service was nice and respectful and hard. I've never been to a funeral of someone I knew really well so this was a little bit of a shock. And of course Matt was out of town for his new job this week. I really needed him but I understand he was doing what he needed to do for us.

I loved my grandpa, he was the person that convinced my parents I was ready to get married. I'll always thank him for that. He taught me so much about God and what religion means to me as a person. There were a few questions I had that I thought for sure were impossible to anwser but he came up with the answers for me. He always had time to help me and went out of his way to make me comfortable. He was a great man and he is in his mansion with Jesus right now. I KNOW that.

More Good News

We have a place to live in!!! I took a personal day off from work yesterday and spent all day going around to places that looked promising. It was a very trying day I must say. But the good thing that came out of it is a new apartment. It's even on the ground floor, that means goodbye to stairs. We did have to make some compromises though, such as no washer/dryer hookups :( But they do allow our pet so I felt like it was an alright trade off, for now. They were really understanding about our situation and made me feel like they were on our side. We can move in as soon as the 20th this month which is a HUGE relief. We will we be out from under this very stressful situation and I won't have to move while Matt is out of town. That was what I was afraid of, having to do this all by myself. I will still end up doing all the packing while he's away but at least he'll be here to help carry it down the stairs. Now if I could just get rid of the stuff I know I don't need......

A Blessing

I am so excited to report that we got some really great news today. Matt was offered the assistant manager position for Big Lots! He will start next month with two weeks in Oklahoma City for training. This could not have come at a better time. We were feeling a little blue but this was just the boost we needed. For a while I was wondering why we even went to college if
nothing was going to come of it, but now it actually feels worth it. Our degrees are beginning to work for us. This could be the upswing of our pendulum and I totally believe it's from God. I asked for patience regarding a completely different issue but it works for all the parts of my life. I really should ask God to help me with my trust issue. If I could learn to trust Him more I think I would have a few less blue periods.

Now for something completely different.
I am being forced by my work to take a vacation. While that in and of itself doesn't sound so bad here is the dilemma; I have an entire week off with NOTHING to do. Matt will have to work so he can't go anywhere with me so I am looking for things to do that have nothing to do with cleaning. I absolutely refuse to get paid to clean my house. I want something fun to do that doesn't mean I have to spend a lot of money. I know I will probably spend at least the first day cleaning but after that I'm through, no more is allowed. Otherwise I know I'll obsess about how clean everything isn't and drive Matt crazy! Suggestions may be submitted up until Oct. 27 (that's the start of my forced vacation. I would rather be at work!)

New Season!!

I'm sooooooooooo glad September is here. Partly because that means fall is just around the corner, but mostly because it means the new shows are starting! Heroes started yesterday but we had to record it and watch it tonight. Thank goodness no one at work was talking about it or I would have had to yell at them. I have missed Heroes so much! I hate that it's only on once a week. I want it all at once and enough time that I can just sit and watch it with no interruptions. However, I think my head might explode if I did that. I don't really watch much of the rest of what's on right now, just Heroes. YEA, HEROES IS BACK!!!!!

The Cutest Little Cat

This is the littlest member of our family, Kermit the Cat. He is super sweet and our favorite cat.
And for some reason he loves sitting in boxes. Even if the box is too small he will try to get in. I love when he sticks his head in and then can't get out. This one happens to be just his size.

(The little brown thing is a play mouse we bought for him that he paid no attention to at all!)

Feeling Better

Yesterday I had to go to Topeka for some training for work. I LOVED it. We got to stay in a pretty nice hotel that was close enough to stuff that it wasn't a burden to go out and quiet enough that when we went to our rooms there was peace. I had to go with two other girls that I knew by name but we don't work together so it was a little akward. When you really don't have anything in common except for work you run out of things to talk about fast. We were all pleasant to each other but I really would have liked to go on my own and enjoy the solitude. We were only gone over night but for some reason it felt longer. And now my week is all messed up. I've been at work but not at work at the same time. It was kinda nice but back to work.

More Trouble

I received this news yesterday and it has taken me a full day to process. My sister is pregnant. Now here are the facts that make this news so troubling;
1) She is barely 21
2) This will be her SECOND child
3) She is not married!
4) This is a girl that has never thought about the consequences of her actions who will now have to be a mother to two children.
5) I have been married four years and want a child very badly with my husband.
6) She is the biggest user in the entire world and will continue to rely on my parents to bail her out whenever she gets into a situation with two children.

I'm still so upset it's making my stomach hurt. Last night I could not be in the same room with her and kept walking out whenever she tried to talk to me. I knew if I stayed in there I would end up saying something very mean. And then she went and cried to our mom about how I was being mean to her and not talking to her and walking away from her. She thinks our relationship was going along fine. The problem is that I have felt sense the moment she moved out of our parents house without really telling them she was leaving that she knew she was also walking away from the teaching that should have kept her safe and well. And I have a very hard time believing that I should want to associate with her. So while we were working on our relationship we still had a long ways to go before I was fine with her. So while she thinks I was using the walking away as a way to chastise her, I was actually just trying to keep my sanity while being in the same house as her. I have worked my whole life to do what is right and it's like a slap in the face from her. Then I worked all these years to build a solid relationship that would be a good environment for a child and I'm still waiting. It's like she getting my dreams while doing whatever she wants with no regard for anything I've worked for. I know it seems silly and very very petty of me but I almost hate her right now. It is hard for me to think about her without wanting to scream. I better stop thinking about it for now, before I drive myself crazy over this.

Troubled Car

So on Friday morning my husband was on his way home in the rain and got stuck in the water that happened to flood Ridge road. It was fairly close to our house so he climbed out the window and walked home in the storm. Our car, the nicer one of the two we own, is now parked in front of our street with who knows what is wrong with it. We were originally thinking (and praying) that when it dried out it would be ok but so far it is looking not so good. We are starting to think it might be easier to sell the car for junk and deal with one for now. There is no way we can afford a car payment right now. The bright side to this is that with our schedules right now we would actually be fine with just the one car. It might be a little strained for the both of us but I choose to look at it as more time together.

Nightmare Moment

So my life is in a kind of limbo right now. We live in a four-plex building that I have really come to love. It has those weird little faults that I tend to overlook most of the time but overall I really like the life we have created here. The nightmare is that our building is being foreclosed on. The owner has not made his mortgage payments since May! I don't think he just forgot. We had a laywer show up and hand us a packet of court documents. We have called the the lawyer's office repeatedly and left messages but so far no one will call us back. I've also called our property management office and left messages there. I really REALLY want some one to call me back and tell me exactly what is going to happen. I talked with an expert and found out we most likely will be required to move. But without any formal instructions we have no options. I've been looking for a new place but if we move now it would be considered breaking our lease. We also have nothing in reserve to move on right now. I just hope we don't come home one day to find a notice that says we have 10 days to move. I'm sure somewhere in this situation there is a plan, I just have to find it.

My First Blog

I have no idea what to write about. I thought this might be a way to get rid of some stress. I'm not sure if I can do this. Maybe if I could get some of these negative thoughts out of my head I might have some room for something constuctive. I have a lot to learn and am very much looking forward to figuring out how exactly I want to do this. I'm always open to tips and suggestions. In other words I'm looking for help.