My Life in This Instant

SHE'S ONE?!?!?!?!?!?!

2010-10-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

How did this happen? Where did the time go? How is my newborn 8lbs 4oz daughter now a toddler? I just cannot grasp where this year went. I know, day by day, but my problem is with how very fast those days went by. It has definietly been a year of growth - for Anna and for myself. I've learned A LOT from her and I hope she has learned some things from me. I feel complete now that she is here. I don't think I have ever laughed more or smiled so much as I do when I am around her. I guess I just didn't know what a HUGE impact such a small girl could have on my life.

Here are just a few pictures from her Birthday at the Zoo and her first trip to the pumpkin patch. We've had a very busy and great October:

This was Anna's first trip to the zoo and I just couldn't believe how well she did. We were there for almost 2 and half hours. Anna didn't get fussy at all until we were heading out of the gift shop. By then she was tired and ready for lunch and her nap.

My sweet little one year old. She is now teaching me what a heart attack feels like. She's learned how to walk!

SUPER SMELL

2010-08-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

So I've come to realize that I can smell EVERYTHING! This does not mean I suddenly realized that I have a nose. Nope - it means ever since the day we brought Anna home I've had a super sense of smell. I can smell when the kitchen trash needs taken out from the back of our house. I can smell the fruit tree outside the front our house and the fact that the fruit is now rotten. I can smell when Anna needs changed from across the room. I would say this is a blessing except for when Anna needs her diaper changed! That one is the worst. I walk in the door from work and guess what hits me in the face? I thought maybe I was just the best mom ever and had a special connection with Anna that made me really look at her face and know what she needs. No - just a super nose. That is the worst superhero power I've ever heard of! Maybe some other mom out there has a super sense of hearing and we could combine our powers to be the best super mom in the world. Or maybe I'll just buy nose-plugs!

First Day of Summer

2010-06-21T20:01:00.001-07:00

Today we had such a blast at the lake! We live about ten minutes from Afton Lake and while I have been there a few times, Matt hasn't. Anna is just about eight months old and at her last doctor's appointment I specifically asked if I could take her to the swimming pool and the lake and I got the go ahead. I've just been waiting for the perfect day to take her swimming. I got off work and had to stop and get Matt some swim trunks and then we headed straight out. She did GREAT! I knew that she liked her nightly baths but I just wasn't sure about cold water. But we went in slow and Anna really seemed to like it. The water was nice and there weren't that many people there. I also got some really super pictures.

"OK dad, I'll help you hold your nose!"

We were getting ready to leave and daddy was helping
Anna dry off. So cute!!

What a Good Smile!

2010-05-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

I got Anna's six month pictures done today and she was sooooo good. I was very afraid she would be overly tired or have a teething episode or be too hungry or one of a million other things would happen that would keep her from smiling. But our photographer was super and really seemed to put Anna at ease. And I asked Grandma to come with us so that Anna would have another friendly face to look at. If she wasn't looking at me then she was at Grandma and we got some really beautiful pictures. And of course I could not make up my mind between two dresses so they let me do a wardrobe change on Anna and took pictures in both dresses. Here are just a few of my favorites:

Dress Number 1

Dress Number 2

This little angel could not take a bad picture. She was so happy and even put up with her head-band! These are going up on the wall of Anna:)

One Happy Girl

2010-04-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

My Anna is just about six months old and is really starting to show what a wonderful personality she has. She has some favorites toys that she just loves to yell at which is so funny! She really gives it to them. Then she will turn around and snuggle so sweetly with us that I'm just sure I have an angel for a daughter.

She's learning to move on her own now and I love to watch her figure things out. She turns over whenever she wants and is trying so hard to crawl. Pretty soon she will be all over the house exploring her new world.

The other side of her is the demon that comes from teething. Anna has her two bottom teeth and while her smile is taking on a new life I could do without the constant screaming. The last couple days have brought a relief now that the teeth are through but we still have a whole mouth to go! I know it's not her fault and it really could be much worse but oh how tired I am.

Winding Down

2010-03-01T19:15:00.000-08:00

As my wonderful husband puts our daughter to bed after a particularly hard day, I have to stop to count my many blessings. My family is everything to me and I can feel the love we have for each other like a big comfy blanket. No, I don't get to be a stay at home mom like I want but I do have a wonderful sister-in-law that I trust completely watching my child. And that leads to the fact that I have a job I can enjoy when I'm not thinking about/missing Anna (which takes up a good portion of my day, but there are rare minutes when I'm working with a customer I happen to like that I remember why I applied for this job in the first place).
This morning was Anna's four month appointment and she had to get her second round of shots. Why do I mention this in a post about my blessings? For this reason, even though she was sore and out of sorts, she still laughed! It is the most amazing sound in the world and there is no substitute for it. I'm so thankful that she smiles and laughs at her silly momma because it makes my world go 'round. My healthy, beautiful girl is 14 pounds and 24 inches long. I have never known such a blessing as her and it hit me so hard this afternoon while we were playing that I started to cry. She is an angel and my treasure and I thank the good Lord every minute for her.

New Moms

2010-02-22T17:25:00.000-08:00

My wonderful friend sent this to me from a site she found. I'm totally stealing it to share with everyone!

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of 'starting a family.'
'Do you think I should have a baby?' "It will change your life,' I say,keeping my tone neutral. 'I know,' she says, 'no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations.'
But that is not what I meant at all.
I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, 'What if that had been MY child?' That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
That an urgent call of 'Mom!' will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for child-care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is alright.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.
That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who carefully bathes the baby or who never hesitates to feed, change or play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. 'You'll never regret it,' I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Lazy Afternoon

2010-01-17T14:32:00.000-08:00

Anna has really discovered her play mat and has taken to it with obvious delight. It has tons of toys that hang down to just the right level for her to bat at. It also has a mirror that Anna can check her hair in ( Well....not quite!) and a music box that she just loves. She kicks her feet almost in time to the music. So far she still hates tummy time on the mat but I think that will come along in time. For a kid that doesn't sleep anyway but on her stomach she sure doesn't like to play that way. She has been playing for a full 30 minutes this afternoon and Matt said she did 30 minutes this morning as well. That's a lot of play-time for a 3 month old!
Yesterday she played so hard she fell alseep right on the mat in the middle of a swing at one of the toys!
This is the one where Anna fell alseep right in the middle of playing!

She was squealing with laughter in this one!!

I was hiding the camera behind one of her toys so that when she would smile real big I could grab it without her giving me the 'I'm terrified of that gray thing in your hand' look!

Year in Review

2010-01-01T13:33:00.000-08:00

So this is my year in a few short sentences per month.

January - I could not stop crying because it seemed like everyone, and I mean everyone, I ran into was pregnant. We had been trying to get pregnant since May '08 and I was so disappointed.

February - We finally found out the greatest news. I was pregnant and we could expect the baby in October.

March - We told our parents the good news and got to share with our friends and extended family how incredibly happy we were.

April - Matt and I both turned 25 and I tried my best to have a quarter-life crisis but just couldn't come up with anything good. We also moved out of the house in Augusta and moved in with Matt's parents so that he would be close to his new job.

May - I was just barely starting to show and had to start answering the same questions over and over every day. "When are you due?" "Do you know what you're having/are you going to find out?" (I heard these same questions for the rest of the summer!)

June - Our 5th wedding anniversary! It was a blast and we got to find out that we were having a baby girl. Most exciting day of the summer.

July - We moved, AGAIN, to our house in Cheney and tried to get things pretty well set up for the baby. I know, way early, but it was so much fun.

August and September - The longest months of my life!!!! The air-conditioning kept going out at work and I was already so hot alllllllll the time that this was honestly the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my life.

October - My daughter arrived and proved that the best things are worth waiting for. She came into the world just perfect and is my super little angel.

November - The first holiday with my new baby. She slept right through it, but it was fun to know we had the new addition to the family.

December - Anna's first Christmas and it was FANTASTIC!! Of course she didn't know what was going on but again, it was so much fun with her here and picking out cute little presents for her. Both of our families went crazy over her and just showed us over and over how much they all love her. Well, that's my wrap up and what a wonderful year it has been. I have to go back to work on the 25th this month and the thought of it makes me sick. I know I won't be gone all that long from her but any amount of time that is not with my baby is just heartbreaking. I'm absolutely certain I will hate every minute away from her.

Already One Month

2009-12-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

My perfect daughter is already a month old! Where, oh where did that time go?!?! I just blinked and now she is smiling at me and learning to lift her head off of my shoulder. We went to the doctor on Monday this week and she has gained one pound, 6 ounces since our last visit. Anna is up to 9 pounds, 12 ounces and 22 inches long. Everyone says she still looks little but she seems huge to me. Way too big to be my newborn. I put her in a very cute onsie and pants yesterday to go shopping and the outfit was almost too small for her!! This is the same outfit that I put her in to go to the doctor for the first time just last month! She is starting to fill out some of the 3 month outfits that I have for her and leave behind her newborn stuff. While I am estatic that she is healthy and growing at a normal pace, I am sad that she will very soon want to pull away from me and start to explore things. I know I'm getting ahead of myself and she will need me for many more years to come, but how quickly are those years going to go by? I would swear to myself that it was just yesterday I was jumping up and down and hugging Matt so tight I think he thought I was trying to strangle him because we had just found out I was pregnant. And now I have this amazing little work of living art and she is sprouting up before my very eyes.
How on earth do mothers deal with this???

My Beautiful Anna

2009-10-31T19:19:00.000-07:00

My newborn is all of 5 days old and is absolutely perfect. I had a wonderful pregnancy and probably complained way more than I should have.
We went to the hospital Monday night to check in and I was really thinking that they would induce me at that time. But no! They just hooked me up to five different machines just to monitor me and the baby and left me to try and sleep in a strange room. Poor Matt had to try to sleep on this little pull out couch with those awful hospital pillows. Then the doctor comes in at 4:30 a.m. and gives me the medicine to start my contractions. Then throughout the day I met more nurses than I could keep track of. They were all super great and I wish I could have gotten to know them all better.

Then at 3 p.m. Melissa (my nurse at the time) told me I was finally ready to push. My doctor barely got there in time to catch Anna on her way out! She was born at 3:32 p.m. and I don't think I have stopped smiling since. I love her so much and am super happy with my little family.

Anna's very first picture ever!! She's beautiful :-)

Daddy and Daughter in the hospital room.

I have the adoring new mother look on! I think it's funny.

I LOVE FALL!!

2009-09-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

I was driving home from work today and I saw some trees that have already changed from green to gold. I LOVE it!!!! I think it is the most beautiful season and I look forward to it all summer long. Here is my top five reasons for why Fall is the best:

1. We have had our windows open and the a/c off for the last 4 days because I don't have allergies in the fall.

2. I can wear jeans without getting hot. This is on the list because I HATE shorts and almost refuse to wear them during the summer.

3. The colors are amazing and different on almost a daily basis.

4. Stores put out Halloween candy at the end of August. Bigger bags for less, there is nothing better!

5. September is the start of my decorating season. From Sep. to April I have decorations that I have been collecting for years and years that I love to put out.

Baby Projects

2009-07-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

So I've gone a little crazy on the baby room projects. It's only because I am soooooooooo excited. I have come to realize that the baby is not going to care about all of this for a very long time, so really the nursery is for me. Oh well, I think it is super cute.

I should have done a better close up because there is no way to see the cute little honey bees that made me fall in love with this fabric. The yellow goes so well with the green walls and I added pink lace at the bottom to really give it a girly feel. Now I just need to finish the set for the South windows.

I wanted to find some really cute, classic pooh wall-hangings, but everything was either the modern pooh or way too expensive. So I bought some 8X10 painting canvas and traced these pictures onto them. By no means do they look professional but they turned out pretty good.

This is one of those things that Anna is not going to care about. I took the left-over lace from the bottom of the curtains and hot glued it to this plain white lamp shade.

I need to finish this project but I like the way it is turning out. It's the biggest item I've tried to knit and so far so good. It looks blue but the colors are actually purple, silver, yellow and blue. I might add pink if I get around to it. I've been working on this project the longest, since about the week after we found out we were having a baby.

This was a plain white bear cutout that I painted pink and stenciled on. If I could write straight it would really help!! The Anna turned out way crooked but Matt says it just adds charm. He's sweet:)

Maybe I should cool it after I get all of these done. I just love having something to do!

Our New Place

2009-06-12T16:35:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited about our new house. It's been so long since we've had a place that felt like home. While we were staying out in Augusta all of our stuff was stored out in the garage so most of what we were using was borrowed stuff. It will be so super nice to have my kitchen ready when I want to cook, nothing in the bathroom but MY stuff (and Matt's I guess), and the nursery ready and waiting for the baby. Here are some pictures of the house that is now our home:

This is the stuff we've collected for the baby so far. The picture doesn't show it very well but the room is a very pretty green.

This is going to be our music and my craft room. It has these great built in shelves that will hold all my little craft items. The piano will be perfect in there.

This is the kitchen and little eat-in area. It's a really great yellow that's not too bright but still draws the light in.

Best Anniversary EVER!!

2009-06-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

Friday the 5th was my 5th Anniversary and it was absolutely wonderful! I took the day off from work and Matt and I got to spend the whole day together. We haven't gotten to just hang out for a while now and it was so super nice. The first thing on our list was my monthly doctors appointment. But this one was special because we got to do a sonogram. The baby was so active and I think she really liked the camera on her. That's right, we found out our baby is a girl!!! YAY! We went a little pink crazy once we got done at the doctors office. We bought little tiny onsies and little booties and a perfect little pink baby book. I can't wait to start entering in all the little bits of information I've been writing down on post-it notes into the baby book. Then we had a wonderful dinner at this great Italian resturant where we decided to stay with the name Anna Grace for our daughter. It's the only girls name that really sounded right to us and we really just love it. It's classic and beautiful and sounds great with our last name. I can't wait to see our daughter. That sounds strange and amazing all at the same time.

The second piece of good news is we got the house in Cheney that I wanted. We moved in some stuff yesterday and the rest of our stuff is going to be moved next weekend. I cannot wait to be in our home getting the nursery ready. I've really missed being able to do all the stupid little things that mean home to me. Such as, doing all of our laundry at the same time. Or, making a special dinner because I want to. I love doing that kind of stuff and in our new place I'll be able to do it all! I'll have my piano there and a little craft area and still plenty of room for our girl to get into trouble. I LOVE IT!!

Baby Stuff

2009-05-31T12:17:00.000-07:00

I had NO idea how much stuff there is for a baby. Not all of it is practical or even reasonable but it is advertized as absolutely required. There are some things that I would love to have but I know that the baby really will not miss out if I don't have it. Still, that doesn't stop me from wishing!

There are several items that I've been looking around for and I still cannot seem to find a good deal. Maybe what I consider a good deal is just not out there. I don't feel it's necessary to spend a fortune on things the baby is not going to use for very long. Garage sales have been very good, but we've mainly found clothes and blankets so far. Now I need some of the bigger items like a dresser, maybe even a dresser/changing table. A classic crib that's in good shape would be nice too.

In other news, we have an appointment to see a house in Cheney on Tuesday. Hopefully it is in good shape because it would be so easy to have our home be in Cheney. It's about half way between Matt's job and mine so neither of us would have to drive forever. It's still close to Wichita so getting the shopping done won't be that hard but we won't have to live in Wichita. It really seemed like all of the good neighborhoods were out of range and the ones we could afford were in the worst places. Cheney is super cute and I already know that I want the house there. Positive thinking goes a long way here!

SUPER exciting morning!

2009-04-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

This morning at work was awesome!! At 9:27 this morning the baby moved for the first time. It was the strangest feeling ever but super great! I was talking to a co-worker and stopped mid-sentence with a gasp. She asked what was wrong and I said I could have sworn I just felt something. She asked me what it felt like and I told her it was like a tickle coming from the inside. Then for the rest of the morning every few minutes that same little tickle came in the same spot. I couldn't help laughing and I'm sure my customers were really wondering what I was laughing at. I'm just glad I could tell what that feeling was. I was really afraid I would miss the baby moving because I didn't know what I was supposed to be on the "look-out" for.

I am a little worriied that if the baby is this active now what is it going to be like toward the end? The baby is going to kick me to death!! Bring it on little one:-)

Moving

2009-04-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

So we've moved, AGAIN! It's very unsettling and slightly frustrating. We had to move to Augusta in October and that worked out all right but we knew it was always temporary. We made it through the winter without any major problems and I didn't have to call in to work once because of weather problems. But it was an hour each way to my work and we couldn't get internet at the house so that made job hunting for Matt a lot harder, so there were draw backs. Here we are six months later and all of our stuff is once again packed up and in storage and we are staying with Matt's wonderful parents while we start over in looking for our own place. But I forgot the good news that made us move. Matt got a full time job with a company in his home town of Norwich. It's a new home for troubled teen girls and Matt's job is third shift security/office worker/anything they need. There was just no way for Matt to drive from Augusta to Norwich every night and then drive back in the early morning. So I'm driving about half an hour to my work until we move (AGAIN!) to west Wichita and then Matt will drive the half hour. We decided on this plan because there is absolutely no way I am living in Norwich. I just don't think I would ever be able to adjust to it. It will be nice to be closer to the family. Augusta was just a little farther than I wanted. It was alright but I like being in Wichita.
Anyway, I'm just starting my second trimester and I think things are starting to stabilize a little bit. My sick days are coming farther apart and I'm not as tired as I was in the beginning. I have a tiny bump that looks more like I'm sticking my stomach out than anything else. But I know so that's all that matters to me. I can't wait to find out what we are having (a baby, I know Matt!) so I can start thinking of the perfect name and start getting the personalized things that I want for the baby. I can't wait to buy the first frilly dress or the tiny little suit! So many things to look forward to!!!!!

Our First Sonagram

2009-04-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

So we went to the Doctor's yesterday for our very first sonagram. Matt got to go with me, thank goodness, because it was a very emotional experience. When the the baby came up on the screen I cried. Then all day long all I wanted to do was cry. Thankfully no one was mean to me at work or I would have! We saw the heartbeat and everything is looking normal. We get to find out what the baby is next month on the 4th. I'm so super excited about being able to think about my baby as a little girl or boy with a name and everything. I guess what I'm happiest about is that everything is going very well so far. I hope everyone will join me in a big loud Thank you Lord for this wonderful blessing!!

A bit of other good news. Matt found a job and will be starting in May. It is only part-time for now so Matt is still looking around for either another part-time or even a full-time job. The manager at his new job seems very nice and told Matt that if he does find something else they will work with him so he can do both. What can I say other than God truly is looking over us. There is no way we could do this without Him. Another loud chorus of Thank you Lord for your wonderful blessings!!!

Time To Update :)

2009-03-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

Things have been very busy for us but not for the obvious reasons. I haven't started any new projects because I have been so wiped out. On February 20 we found out we are expecting our baby!!!! We could not be more excited and anxious for Oct. 22 to get here. We had been trying for about eight months and it finally happened. I never realized how awfully tired I would be though. I am sleeping about nine hours a night and still I get home from work and all I can do is sit in the chair. I had about two weeks of upset stomach and now it's not too bad. I really only feel sick if I let myself get too hungry. As long as I eat healthy meals and a few snacks during the day I've felt just fine. I'm about nine weeks along and to me they are crawling by. I know it's because I'm looking forward to this awesome thing but still, I could wish they would go by just a little faster. I've gotten some really great advice from the mothers around me which I greatly appreciate. We are planning to tell our families, probably as I start the next trimester. That seems appropriate I guess.
We've been going over names already and a couple that we like are; Anna Grace or Robert Loyd. Actually I really like the boy name but I might have to let it grow on Matt for a while.
I bought the baby its' first outfit and I think it is so cute. It's just a little onsie with green words and a picture of a puple stroller. I figure when we find out what the baby is we can buy either green or purple pants to go with it and a cute little jacket (since it will be Oct. in Kansas, so COLD).
Now on to all the shopping that comes with a baby. I'M SOOOOOO EXCITED!!

Keeping Busy

2009-02-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

So I (somewhat foolishly) decided to take on some projects at our house. I know it's not really our place but I figure we have to live there for now so I should make it the best it can be. First up was the second bedroom that we use as a tv room. The reason for this is because the frontroom faces the north and it is the coldest room in the house. We try to stay out of it and keep it blocked off by a curtain partition to keep our heating bill down. Anyway, the second bedroom still had the terrible '70's wall-paper in it, you know, the weird green color that didn't really go with anything. So I decided to take one evening and see how hard it would be to tear it down. Well, all I had to do was pull on the corner of each section and the paper fell down on top of me. I didn't have to spray it or try to scrape it off or anything. it was AWESOME!! I found a really pretty color in the mis-tinted section at Wal-mart and got a gallon for under six dollars. Very exciting!! I have never worked so hard to make a room look good. I don't usually tape off the edges of doors and windows but I did this time. I also used primer for the first time and now I know why I should use it every time. It makes painting soooooooooooooooo much easier. I only had to put up one coat of paint and the room was done. It turned out super good and I am really proud of it.

The next project was not so easy. The next room to get done was the bathroom. It also had the '70's wall-paper but this time it was HUGE orange flowers with big sick green leaves. Thank goodness it was only on the top half of the walls. The bottom half is a very neutral cream tile. Well, the paper again came off very easily but after that it got tricky. Maybe there was still a glue residue or maybe the walls were in really bad condition but either way the paint I picked out did not go on very well. I primed the walls but it did no good. I put the first coat on and it looked very bad. I put the second coat on and it looked very odd. I put the third coat on and decided the color was now so messed up that I would never be able to fix it. The color I picked out was a beautiful golden glow, but with three coats it looked more like old mustard. So I decided a nice wall-paper would have to do. Matt and I went to Lowes to look at new tile for the floor and on the way out we went down a random ilse that just happened to have a clearance cart in it. The cart was full of all the last rolls of an order of wall-paper. I happened to pick up a really great roll but there was no way one roll would cover the entire bathroom. I glanced down and underneath several rools was a second roll of the one I wanted! I couldn't believe my luck. We got the two rolls for six dollars and the next saturday Matt's mom came and helped me fix my LARGE mistake. We pulled up the carpet and put in our tile and now the bathroom looks GREAT!!

NEXT: Our bedroom (As soon as Matt lifts the project ban!)

Our Rockin' New Years Eve

2009-01-10T14:25:00.000-08:00

So our new years eve went like this:
-Ran to the video store at 6:30 p.m. to see if there were ANY good movies left. (We ended up with seven and cut down to six thinking we could get through them by midnight.)
-Stopped at Dillons to stock up on junk food to get us through the night.
-Stopped at Pizza Hut to pick up our large pizza for the two of us.
-Went home and got into our pajamas and got ready for bed so that we could fall in right at 12:10a.m.
-Made ourselves sick on really bad food and only made it through 4 of the 6 movies.
-Caught the last ten minutes of one of the New Year's Eve specials.
-Said Happy New Year to each other and then hit the hay.
Rockin' I know. That's what you do after a hard day of work! What more could I ask for?

Another Long Month

2008-12-20T18:45:00.000-08:00

A little more sad news. My grandmother passed away this month. So my Wills grandparents are in heaven and I feel like a large part of my childhood is just gone, completely missing. Together they taught me so much and apart they taught me very different but equally wonderful things. I doubt I will ever meet someone so little but so strong like my granny. She was the short one in our family and she always teased us about being so tall. She would say "you lean down here and give me a good hug" but none of us grandchildren ever crossed her. I remember one time when I was about 10, I did not want to go to bed so I stalled with everything I had. Well, did she count to 3? NO, did she say my name in a warning tone? No, all she had to do was start to walk into the room and I knew I better get in that bed and be ready for my story and then it was time to sleep. That was the only time I ever tried to get my way with my granny.
She always had this amazing garden that produced the best tomatoes EVER! One summer I ate so many cherry tomatoes I broke out in hives. And for some reason I never minded getting up with the sun to go out and weed that huge country garden with her. It's from her that I found out how much fun it is to grow things and watch the beauty of nature around me.
It's strange how some of the littlest things will sneak up on me and make me remember some long forgotten tidbit about them.
They really were the best set of grandparents a child could have.

Country Living

2008-11-16T13:40:00.000-08:00

We actually live about six miles outside of Augusta which puts us in the middle of nowhere. I'm not really sure I'm a country kind of person. There are bugs, HUGE ones, there are sounds, SCARY ones, and there are SMELLS!!! that I cannot deal with. I do not get along well with spiders and they are all over the house. BIG brown ones that move fast. Matt likes to joke that what I think of as big is gnat size, but even he has agreed that these spiders are escapees of some scientific lab that does experiments to enlarge ugly insects. One night we were watching a movie with the lights turned out and I was sitting in the recliner when I see this thing moving on the arm. Well, I scream and Matt jumps up and turns on the light and this spider as big as my fist is right next to me! I've never jumped that high or moved that fast but in this case I think I set a couple of records. My awesome friend gave me this really good bug spray to use and I really think it has helped. That and the colder weather maybe? But I don't care what it is as long as they leave me alone. Matt says that the bugs were there first but I contend that I'm here now so they need to leave.
Another thing I'm not doing to well with is the fact that we cannot get internet service out at the house without paying a huge cost for it. First the installation fee and then the monthly bill would just be absurdly high. I can't wait an entire month to check my email. I HATE it!!

A Year Long Month

2008-11-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been a full month since I've written anything. I think this has been the longest month of my life. I'm trying to think of all of the things that have happened, but they are all so blurry that it's really hard to separate them. Well, here goes:
1.) My grandpa's funural, of course.
2.) That same week my sister got married.
3.) Our place to live in fell through and so my family asked me to take over the care of my grandparents house.
4.) We moved to Augusta to care for said house.
5.) And now the holidays are before us.

That's a pretty good breakdown of what's been going on. We had the funural on Tuesday and on Thursday my sister got married. I'll talk about that for just a moment. I cannot describe this guy without making myself just sound seriously harsh. I guess I will just say I will never really think of him as family because he certainly doesn't act that way, and leave it at that.
Next, we had an apt. all lined up but they couldn't work with us on the move-in date and when we were given our eviction notice the new place was not ready for us. We had 72 hours to leave and no where to go. So I talked with my family and they said it would really be a blessing to have us move out to Augusta and take care of the house for my granny. So I did it. I packed up our house in two hours and my mom got me a moving company and I moved out to Augusta. All while Matt was in Oklahoma doing his training. I think I cried myself sick that day. Now I drive an hour to work and have the added responsibility of cleaning a house that has been sitting empty for six months. I used my very first vacation ever to clean. I've seen more dust than I ever want to again. And that brings me up to date and to the holidays. Should be fun.

Sad Week

2008-10-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

So now for some sad news. My grandpa passed away on Sunday morning after a (relatively) short battle with cancer. There at the end he was in a lot of pain and it was very difficult to go and see him. We had some time with him though and new it was coming so this was not completely a surprise. I got to tell him I loved him and goodbye which was more than some of my cousins from AZ got. The service was nice and respectful and hard. I've never been to a funeral of someone I knew really well so this was a little bit of a shock. And of course Matt was out of town for his new job this week. I really needed him but I understand he was doing what he needed to do for us.

I loved my grandpa, he was the person that convinced my parents I was ready to get married. I'll always thank him for that. He taught me so much about God and what religion means to me as a person. There were a few questions I had that I thought for sure were impossible to anwser but he came up with the answers for me. He always had time to help me and went out of his way to make me comfortable. He was a great man and he is in his mansion with Jesus right now. I KNOW that.

More Good News

2008-10-03T16:48:00.000-07:00

We have a place to live in!!! I took a personal day off from work yesterday and spent all day going around to places that looked promising. It was a very trying day I must say. But the good thing that came out of it is a new apartment. It's even on the ground floor, that means goodbye to stairs. We did have to make some compromises though, such as no washer/dryer hookups :( But they do allow our pet so I felt like it was an alright trade off, for now. They were really understanding about our situation and made me feel like they were on our side. We can move in as soon as the 20th this month which is a HUGE relief. We will we be out from under this very stressful situation and I won't have to move while Matt is out of town. That was what I was afraid of, having to do this all by myself. I will still end up doing all the packing while he's away but at least he'll be here to help carry it down the stairs. Now if I could just get rid of the stuff I know I don't need......

A Blessing

2008-09-29T16:45:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to report that we got some really great news today. Matt was offered the assistant manager position for Big Lots! He will start next month with two weeks in Oklahoma City for training. This could not have come at a better time. We were feeling a little blue but this was just the boost we needed. For a while I was wondering why we even went to college if
nothing was going to come of it, but now it actually feels worth it. Our degrees are beginning to work for us. This could be the upswing of our pendulum and I totally believe it's from God. I asked for patience regarding a completely different issue but it works for all the parts of my life. I really should ask God to help me with my trust issue. If I could learn to trust Him more I think I would have a few less blue periods.

Now for something completely different.
I am being forced by my work to take a vacation. While that in and of itself doesn't sound so bad here is the dilemma; I have an entire week off with NOTHING to do. Matt will have to work so he can't go anywhere with me so I am looking for things to do that have nothing to do with cleaning. I absolutely refuse to get paid to clean my house. I want something fun to do that doesn't mean I have to spend a lot of money. I know I will probably spend at least the first day cleaning but after that I'm through, no more is allowed. Otherwise I know I'll obsess about how clean everything isn't and drive Matt crazy! Suggestions may be submitted up until Oct. 27 (that's the start of my forced vacation. I would rather be at work!)

New Season!!

2008-09-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm sooooooooooo glad September is here. Partly because that means fall is just around the corner, but mostly because it means the new shows are starting! Heroes started yesterday but we had to record it and watch it tonight. Thank goodness no one at work was talking about it or I would have had to yell at them. I have missed Heroes so much! I hate that it's only on once a week. I want it all at once and enough time that I can just sit and watch it with no interruptions. However, I think my head might explode if I did that. I don't really watch much of the rest of what's on right now, just Heroes. YEA, HEROES IS BACK!!!!!

The Cutest Little Cat

2008-09-17T18:51:00.001-07:00

This is the littlest member of our family, Kermit the Cat. He is super sweet and our favorite cat.
And for some reason he loves sitting in boxes. Even if the box is too small he will try to get in. I love when he sticks his head in and then can't get out. This one happens to be just his size.

(The little brown thing is a play mouse we bought for him that he paid no attention to at all!)

Feeling Better

2008-09-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had to go to Topeka for some training for work. I LOVED it. We got to stay in a pretty nice hotel that was close enough to stuff that it wasn't a burden to go out and quiet enough that when we went to our rooms there was peace. I had to go with two other girls that I knew by name but we don't work together so it was a little akward. When you really don't have anything in common except for work you run out of things to talk about fast. We were all pleasant to each other but I really would have liked to go on my own and enjoy the solitude. We were only gone over night but for some reason it felt longer. And now my week is all messed up. I've been at work but not at work at the same time. It was kinda nice but back to work.

More Trouble

2008-09-14T17:06:00.001-07:00

I received this news yesterday and it has taken me a full day to process. My sister is pregnant. Now here are the facts that make this news so troubling;
1) She is barely 21
2) This will be her SECOND child
3) She is not married!
4) This is a girl that has never thought about the consequences of her actions who will now have to be a mother to two children.
5) I have been married four years and want a child very badly with my husband.
6) She is the biggest user in the entire world and will continue to rely on my parents to bail her out whenever she gets into a situation with two children.

I'm still so upset it's making my stomach hurt. Last night I could not be in the same room with her and kept walking out whenever she tried to talk to me. I knew if I stayed in there I would end up saying something very mean. And then she went and cried to our mom about how I was being mean to her and not talking to her and walking away from her. She thinks our relationship was going along fine. The problem is that I have felt sense the moment she moved out of our parents house without really telling them she was leaving that she knew she was also walking away from the teaching that should have kept her safe and well. And I have a very hard time believing that I should want to associate with her. So while we were working on our relationship we still had a long ways to go before I was fine with her. So while she thinks I was using the walking away as a way to chastise her, I was actually just trying to keep my sanity while being in the same house as her. I have worked my whole life to do what is right and it's like a slap in the face from her. Then I worked all these years to build a solid relationship that would be a good environment for a child and I'm still waiting. It's like she getting my dreams while doing whatever she wants with no regard for anything I've worked for. I know it seems silly and very very petty of me but I almost hate her right now. It is hard for me to think about her without wanting to scream. I better stop thinking about it for now, before I drive myself crazy over this.

Troubled Car

2008-09-14T17:06:00.000-07:00

So on Friday morning my husband was on his way home in the rain and got stuck in the water that happened to flood Ridge road. It was fairly close to our house so he climbed out the window and walked home in the storm. Our car, the nicer one of the two we own, is now parked in front of our street with who knows what is wrong with it. We were originally thinking (and praying) that when it dried out it would be ok but so far it is looking not so good. We are starting to think it might be easier to sell the car for junk and deal with one for now. There is no way we can afford a car payment right now. The bright side to this is that with our schedules right now we would actually be fine with just the one car. It might be a little strained for the both of us but I choose to look at it as more time together.

Nightmare Moment

2008-09-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

So my life is in a kind of limbo right now. We live in a four-plex building that I have really come to love. It has those weird little faults that I tend to overlook most of the time but overall I really like the life we have created here. The nightmare is that our building is being foreclosed on. The owner has not made his mortgage payments since May! I don't think he just forgot. We had a laywer show up and hand us a packet of court documents. We have called the the lawyer's office repeatedly and left messages but so far no one will call us back. I've also called our property management office and left messages there. I really REALLY want some one to call me back and tell me exactly what is going to happen. I talked with an expert and found out we most likely will be required to move. But without any formal instructions we have no options. I've been looking for a new place but if we move now it would be considered breaking our lease. We also have nothing in reserve to move on right now. I just hope we don't come home one day to find a notice that says we have 10 days to move. I'm sure somewhere in this situation there is a plan, I just have to find it.

My First Blog

2008-09-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what to write about. I thought this might be a way to get rid of some stress. I'm not sure if I can do this. Maybe if I could get some of these negative thoughts out of my head I might have some room for something constuctive. I have a lot to learn and am very much looking forward to figuring out how exactly I want to do this. I'm always open to tips and suggestions. In other words I'm looking for help.